VMPR-22131618

WALT..use show not tell in our writing to describe a moment in time. Last week our class has been learning about applying show not tell in our stories. We had to make two paragraphs with 4-5 sentences. We were given a picture to make a story about. What I found hard was fixing my tenses. I enjoyed doing this because I get to make up my own story. Here is my short story:

The man

A hissing sound occupied the man’s peaceful imagination. The man dashed to the middle of nowhere because all of a sudden, a shadow was behind him. The man took quick steps like a rolling wheel of a car that will never stop. Hissing, laughing and evil roars still chasing him. Puffing, shivering and trembling as he raced with the shadow. If the man stops his heart will freeze until the end of the world.

Covered with blood, sweat and tears the man could only find one hiding space. Squishing himself into a tiny and polluted room. He crosses his fingers and starts sobbing with no volume. He uses his vision and hearing to check and check. In an unexpected time, banging and crashing sounds came to life. In just one blink, the man was already lying on the ground with a flood of blood.